RULE #7: The greater the distance, the greater the opportunities.

 The process of discovering the right college for a child usually begins in earnest during his or her sophomore or junior year of high school. At this point, parents are basically staring at a blank slate, even if their child has picked out a so-called dream school of choice. Parents should avoid fixating on that one school.

"I have talked to a lot of parents who are blinded by ESPN and the Name Game," said Lisa Strasman. "They do not always take the time to investigate what different schools have to offer, and they end up finding out that the original image of a college was all wrong and not at all what they wanted."

Another big mistake, said Andrea Emmons, is to consider only colleges close to home. Wanting to keep children close to the nest is a natural instinct, but it eliminates many options. Children are better positioned for success if they can evaluate all options without restrictions on geography. This means that parents might not be able to see all of their child's games in person, a small sacrifice to pay for their child's long-term success.

The greater the distances the child will travel, the greater the opportunity for recruitment. A student with an average ability who is willing to travel will have more opportunities than the student-athlete who has very good athletic ability, but who wants to play close to home.

Parents and their children should go into this process with open minds, without any preconceived notions about a college or region of the country. The search should be from coast to coast, border to border, refusing to eliminate a part of the country based on a stereotype that might be an unfair broad brush. I once received a call from a coaching staff member from Coastal Carolina University, who reported that the women's tennis team had two full scholarship opportunities. The coach went on to explain that the team was housed in an ocean-front condominium. This sounds like a fantastic opportunity to me, but how many parents and student athletes would overlook Coastal Carolina University simply because they had never heard of the school.

         This can be an exciting yet unnerving time for many reasons. Ultimately, all of a parent's efforts in the process will end with the child elsewhere, in a new home, out of the nest for the first time. The athlete is about to become an adult, entering an unfamiliar world where Mom and Dad will not be an immediate safety net, even if the college of choice is close to home. Regardless of whether a child is a two-hour drive or a five-hour flight away, parents will worry. It will be an emotional time. they can count on it.

 RULE #8: Parents should not risk their child's collegiate future by relying solely on the coach.

A parent's job is to assist the child in this process. The child's high school coach is not responsible for getting the athlete a scholarship, nor is the coach responsible for helping the student athlete figure out how to pay for school.

"A child's high school coach will do everything he can to help a child become recruited, but it will not be enough," said Jack Renkens, the former coach of Massachusetts's Division II Assumption College. The entire senior class hopes to be recruited, as do juniors, sophomores, and freshmen getting an early start. The coach has a job, a family, and countless other obligations. And he will not get paid for helping a child win a scholarship or turn the head of a college coach.

In addition, the typical high school coach has few strings to pull. Most college coaches do not know high school coaches, and vice versa. With almost two thousand colleges to consider, parents are unrealistic to think a student's high school coach has enough time to build relationships with college coaches. Likewise, how could a college coach possibly build relationships with the twenty-three thousand high schools in the nation?

If a family is lucky, the student-athlete's high school coach is a veteran with a handful of local contacts in the college sports world. But even in this ideal situation, the high school coach's help will not extend beyond a phone call or email.